Seeking Patterns in a World of Chaos

By Marilyn Moore

It’s been not quite five weeks since Donald Trump was inaugurated as the 47th President of the United States.  He promised executive orders that would shock and awe the American people.  That’s a campaign promise on which he has delivered, a thousand-fold or more. Eggs are still expensive, the price of gasoline has not come down, but those executive orders are indeed worthy of the label “shock and awe.”  

The result, five weeks in, is sheer chaos.  Federal aid to developing countries, a program in place for more than sixty years, has been halted.  As a result, food is rotting on docks and in trucks, because it can’t be delivered.  Medical clinics, treating people with highly communicable diseases, which could make their way through air and water to the US, have closed, leaving people untreated and diseases spreading.  Medical research on those same diseases is suspended.  And then, a court issued a temporary restraining order, restoring the status quo, except it may not be happening.  

That was just the first shot across the bow, labeled as seeking out waste and fraud and finding government efficiencies.  Since then, research grants to universities across the country have been halted…right in the midst of research projects that can’t just stop and then start up again.  Another temporary restraining order, restoring the status quo, except it may not be happening.  Thousands of federal employees were notified they were fired, including those who guard our nuclear weapons and those who are keeping track of bird flu.  Oops, didn’t mean those people, so they’re called back to work, except they couldn’t all be found, as their government email accounts had been disabled.  Thousands more layoffs, including park rangers, just as national parks are gearing up for summer travel, and firefighters, just as the worst forest and grassland fire season approaches.  IRS workers fired, just as taxpayers will be calling help lines for assistance, and then waiting for tax refunds, tasks that take workers, tasks that won’t get done, or will take much longer.  

And so it goes, with swaths through the Department of Agriculture, Department of Education, the Department of Energy, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and next up, the Department of Defense.  Not only are rank-and-file employees, the civil service employees, being terminated, so are leaders, supervisors, and heads of departments.  The Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  The Secretary of the Navy.  A thread through every action, get rid of any reference to diversity, equity, and inclusion.  Tariffs, imposed, then withdrawn, then imposed again, or threatened.  All of it haphazard, all of it designed to throw the federal government into chaos.

And that’s the purpose.  To create chaos, to create so much chaos people (read, citizens, reporters, political watchers, elected officials, federal employees, those who hold federal contracts) can’t keep track of it all, or any of it, and give up on their own government to do what the Constitution says it’s supposed to do, “provide for the common defense,” and “promote the general welfare.”  

I’m drawn back to my learning about chaos science.  Leadership and the New Science, by Margaret Wheatley, is one of the most significant books I’ve ever read.  Who knew that there was a whole science about chaos?  Margaret Wheatley did, and she explained it, and its implications, and its power.  

One of the lessons from chaos science is that in the midst of chaos, there are always patterns.  Sometimes they’re hard to see; well, almost always they’re hard to see, because when you’re living in chaos, everything is in-your-face up close and personal, and it’s changing by the day, sometimes by the hour and the minute.  And that’s a tough environment in which to notice patterns.  But if you can step back a bit, either in distance or in time, patterns emerge.  The photo at the beginning of this blog is a fractal, computer generated from a gigantic string of random numbers…a giant step back from the most random of events, a random number table. 

Stepping back from the recent headlines, and the barrage is constant and hard to ignore, I notice some patterns. First, expertise is discounted.  That seems evident from the characteristics of the persons nominated, and confirmed, for Cabinet positions.  Expertise in the content of the position was not essential, nor is it present.  Nor is experience running a multi-billion dollar organization, employing thousands of workers.  The major criterion appears to be loyalty to the President, and a willingness to obey an unconstitutional order if given.

A second pattern is willingness to break existing laws.  The positions of Inspectors General are governed by a federal law that says the president cannot terminate their employment without giving 30 days notice to Congress, specifying the reason for the termination.  With total disregard for this law, the IGs were notified they were fired overnight.  No explanation has been given to Congress.  There are laws governing the termination of other federal employees; those laws have also been disregarded.  

A third pattern is disregard for those persons directly and immediately harmed by these chaos-producing actions.  Students who learn their scholarships have been canceled, as of the moment of the email.  Patients whose care will be disrupted because of cessation of medical research.  Uncertainty about continuation of programs such as Head Start, which provides services to our youngest, poorest children, and their families.  

A fourth pattern is the seeming ineptness of Congress stepping in at all.  Every member of the Senate and the House is hearing from their constituents, who are not happy with loss of services and with the seemingly total control an unelected special advisor has on the President.  What could Congress do?  They could speak out, they could hold hearings, they could assert their Constitutional power of the purse…but they are not.

A fifth pattern is the judicial system, stepping up.  Judges have placed many temporary restraining orders on actions taken so far, including the big one of saying that the president may not invalidate the 14th Amendment, birthright citizenship, through executive order.  None of the suits that have been filed have made it through hearings, decisions, appeals, and next level appeals, but so far, the judges have been a guardrail.  

A sixth pattern, which I suspect underlies all of this, is the remaking of the federal government to favor the very wealthy, including eliminating regulations that protect employees and consumers and revising the tax structure that gives even more tax breaks to the richest among us.  

And I haven’t even touched on foreign relations, where America’s word will be questioned for a long time by our traditional allies, as we seem to align ourselves more with the dictators of the world than the leaders of countries that are democracies.  

This is what chaos looks like, and this is not a normal transition from one administration to the next.  This is deliberate, intentional disruption.  And while patterns may be evident, they don’t answer the big question so many are asking:  what can I do?

There’s the sticking point, isn’t it.  Theory may describe what’s happening, it may predict what will happen next, but it’s left to citizens to figure out what to do.  I’ve read lots of opinions from many writers about what to do…and I suspect you have, too.  

There’s way too much to keep track of, way too much to respond to every outrage, so here’s where I’ve landed.  From my perspective, the only way out of this mess is through the ballot box, so I’m paying attention to any efforts to restrict voting rights.  And there are many of them.  I’ll contact my Senators and Representatives most about this.  Related to that, if you’re not already doing so, pay attention the SAVE act….an innocuous sounding bill that would have an outsized negative impact on women, women whose name as an adult doesn’t match the name on their birth certificate.  And that’s millions of us.  Watch for it; more on this in another blog.

I’m trying to stay informed, but I’m also trying to not immerse myself in the news for hours a day.  I read news sources and writers whose work I find to be accurate and helpful.  Some will read more than I do, and some will read less. I think it’s important to be an informed citizen, but I don’t have to live in the chaos 24/7.   That’s just me; you’ll find the right balance for you.

I’m trying to do those things that create positive energy, like walking outdoors and spending time with friends and reading for pleasure.  That offsets some of the very real negative energy that chaos creates.

I’m paying attention to issues on the state and local level; that’s the beginning of many ideas and candidates that will surface in the future at the federal level.  I’m writing checks to organizations that lobby and that file lawsuits on issues that align with my values.  I can’t argue at the Supreme Court, but I can support those organizations that do.

And in light of the efforts to eliminate all attention to the richness of our diversity, I’m not giving up on Black History Month or Pride Month or the other days/events of special recognition.  Black History Month may no longer be on the calendar, but I can remind myself of the courage of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Harriet Tubman.  I can delight in the music of Robert Rey and Andre Thomas.  I can read Langston Hughes’ poetry.  And I can remember the magnificent closing line from Amanda Gorman’s poem, “The Hill We Climb,” “for there is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.”  Good words for living in chaos.

Follow us on Facebook @5WomenMayhem

 

Long and abiding friendships … help us make it through the night …

 

By Mary Kay Roth

We piled into Pam’s SUV one early wintry morning several weeks ago, ready for a road trip, three of us hauling suitcases, laptops and memories.

I swear I couldn’t see anyone’s wrinkles – but instead, a trio of young, giggling girls sitting cross legged upon Yvonne’s shag-covered basement floor with our turntable and 45’s, singing along as The Monkees crooned “I’m a Believer.” 

We had all lived within a block of one another, growing up in south Lincoln, with real roller skates and skinned knees, tether balls and Twister, tassel-bedecked bicycle handlebars and high-heeled Barbies, ridiculous duck-and-cover drills for possible nuclear war – Dick and Jane.

Coming together in fifth grade, our glossy class photograph displays eager little girls dressed in jumpers, pinafores and head bands, standing primly with hands folded before us.

Now, more than half a century later, forever finished with pinafores and headbands, we are a rowdy bunch, rolling down the highway and headed for five days at Pam’s Colorado condo.  

Our first ever trip together: Pam. Yvonne. Mary Kay.

Strangely enough, we are all single now, some widowed, others divorced. Two of us have children, grandchildren.  One of us flies solo. 

These days, between us, we sport hearing aids, hip replacements and wonky backs.  Two of us are cancer survivors. But we are generally healthy, darned lucky.  

And man alive, we can still laugh, smiling over who we once were – and who we have become.

In Colorado we cooked meals and danced to bubblegum oldies, hiked trails and lit fires, lost our cellphones so many times we got giddy over calling one another to find them.  Pam was amidst a major move, constantly answering calls from contractors. Yvonne faced the daunting task of clearing out her childhood home. 

Meanwhile, I was simply a bit distracted and muddled, looking for balance in this topsy turvy world, accidentally locking myself out of Pam’s condo one cold and early morning – then waking up everyone so I could get back inside. We made coffee and sat together in dawn’s light.

You know, I am blessed with so many dear and precious family and friends who fill my life with love and wisdom.

But those deep and everlasting friendships are as deliciously exquisite as the last page in your favorite book.

Serving as connection and comfort, they offer rare insight into recollections that stretch back for decades.  Old friends hold up a mirror so we can see the reflection of who we are and where we came from.

Pam, Yvonne and I know one another in a way no other three woman can.  And what’s even more amazing, we like each other anyway.

We know about first crushes, first dates, first sex.

We have puzzled out pink diaries with flimsy, delicate padlocks – fumbled over our choices in acne cream, eventually in birth control.   

We have clung to one another through a childhood and adolescence filled with race riots and assassinations, Watergate and a wildly unpopular war, the birth of rock-and-roll and first walks on the moon.

We all made some questionable choices in our teens. When we were 21, one of us lost a mother, another lost a brother.  We all made some questionable choices as we aged.

Yet we survived, somehow safe in our middle-class cocoon of comfort.  We grew up in a world where white bread and white milk were delivered to our doors, moms collected green stamps and dads earned the living.

On summer nights, we squeezed as many teens as possible into a Volkswagen bug – and cruised past cute boys’ houses playing “Knock Three Times…”  On beautiful fall evenings, we dressed up in dreadful pep club outfits to cheer for the football team.  Otherwise, our preferred uniforms were bell bottoms and, oh my god, platform shoes.

Inevitably, of course, we went our separate ways, parted by changing geography, career choices and spouse choices, life’s predictable distractions.

Yet …  here we were in Colorado, connected by and brought together by slender but powerful threads of hometown and collective experience.   

I think we were somewhat surprised at how much we didn’t know about one another’s journeys.  But perhaps we were just as surprised by how many ways our paths had intersected.

We had traded in our Princess phones for cell phones. We all took typing class and almost immediately were tossed into a dazzling, sometimes overwhelming world of ever-changing technology.  

We attended school with almost no black students in our class, shocked into reality decades later with George Floyd and “Caste.” 

And, yes, we voted for the same woman in the last Presidential election, but feel a bit lost in a country we no longer recognize – but perhaps a country we really never fully knew.

On the last night of vacation, we went out to dinner and talked of dreams we had lost track of – dreams we had simply lost.  Friends we had lost track of – friends we had simply lost.

We wondered how the three of us had ever come together … whether childhood friendships happen randomly, by choice.

Then we drank more wine and decided we just didn’t care.

Today we are three very different women who have made very different life choices – with surprising blessings never imagined as young girls.

And thank goodness we still have one another, forever connected by saddle shoes and The Monkees – by shared tears and shared joy. 

Thanks to Pam and Yvonne, I have an abiding friendship with roots that run deep, a solid point of reference to face the coming years … with perhaps a few more promised slumber parties in our future to help us make it through the night.

Things We Find to Love Amidst the Mayhem

 As we approach Valentine's Day, what better time to compose love letters to the people, places, seasons, and sensations that help us keep our heads and hearts above the turbulent waters swirling through the mayhem? 

A love letter to a curious coyote …
from Mary Kay Roth       

Sauntering casually and easily, your four paws barely touching the ground, you approached the edge of the Colorado stream at dawn – just across from where I had lingered. 

You gulped down a few good drinks of clear mountain water and splashed  down into the creek – directly in my path. Then, finally spying me, you paused about four feet away. 

I didn’t move, didn’t touch my iPhone, just froze. And for a few precious moments we simply stared at one another. 

Then you ambled on your way, your beautiful coat of gray and black and tawny sparkling in the sunrise. 

I’ve spent the past week on the edge of Rocky Mountain National Park in a state of bliss, and I’m a bit perplexed why this particular moment was one of my favorites – and why I’ve chosen to write my love letter to you.   

So, forgive my mystical over-thinking.  But I’m grateful to you for not just strolling past, but instead stopping for a moment of harmony to calm this human’s muddled soul.

Folk lore contends coyotes invite reflection, even transformation, bringing both chaos and wisdom to our world.

As I consider our state of affairs right now, I figure you have much more insight than most people clinging onto this crazy planet. I extend my sincerest apologies as we have pretty much mucked up your environment.

But I do have history with your relatives. Wile E. Coyote has always been my very favorite cartoon character, a tenacious fellow who refuses to give up – filled with much more character than that dull Road Runner.  

Fast forward to my walks around Holmes Lake more recently and increased sightings of coyotes – perhaps your distant relatives? – with new warning signs suggesting precautions like noise makers.

And I remember one early morning walk at the lake several years ago when we spotted a coyote somewhere down the trail and my friend stepped up to furiously blow a whistle into the quiet morning air … after which the calm coyote cocked his head, sat down and simply looked at us in amusement.

That morning my friend and I started laughing, recognizing our fear was clearly unfounded.  We are, in fact, your greatest threat, stealing your family’s habitat – invading your homes. You and all your kin are just looking for a safe place to land. And aren’t we all – in these tumultuous times? 

So, I write this love letter to you, the gregarious fellow who stopped on that Colorado morning to tell me it was simply splendid to be alive.

Seems smart to follow your lead.

***

My dear April
From JoAnne Young

My dear April ...

May I get schmaltzy for a few words? I will never be so glad to see you as when you come around in a couple of months. Not to take anything away from January and February, our most recent visitors who have fulfilled their winterly obligations, and even been somewhat pleasant on some days. But, through no fault of their own, they have been accompanied, I’ll just speak for myself, by a great deal of angst and unrest and serious shenanigans in this year’s stayover. I won’t be the least bit sorry to see them go.

April, I have been looking over photos of last year’s visit and remembering the warmth, and the pink and white and lavender flowers you brought us all. Even those pictures have brought me comfort and joy, tidings usually reserved for the winter holidays.

I know you are comfortably sleeping under the icy ground and content in your rest and preparation for spring. I can picture you curled up in a fetal position in your dugout, wearing warm winter jammies and surrounded by grass shoots and buds of crocus, tulips and bleeding hearts. Even now you are dreaming of the nearby trees patiently simmering, preparing for a bud break, and that makes you smile in your sleep.

I won’t lie, it’s been a few months of hard work to stay balanced and of sound mind. We need you April, and are also patiently waiting and dreaming of your return.

Love to you, JoAnne

***

Dear Girlfriends…
From Marilyn Moore

Dear Girlfriends,

I love you.  I love the way you listen to me, the way you humor me for long-winded answers to what you thought was a short-answer question, the way you know when I need a phone call or a funny
cartoon or a cat video, the way you can tell when I didn’t hear something and you say it again, without my having to ask. 

I love your courage, your willingness to stand up for what is good and true and to stand with me when I do the same.  I love your mind, the mind that knows there’s another perspective and asks a good question and pushes a little harder to get there. 

I love your bravery, not backing down to the bully.  I love your commitment to our friendship, and to the community, and to women and children everywhere, and to the planet on
which we live.

I love your sense of humor…oh, my gosh, do I love that. You make us laugh, you find the light in the dark, you remind me with just a glance of the funny thing that just crossed your mind, knowing that itjust crossed mine, too. 

I love that you know my family, my growing-up stories and the roots from which I came.  I love that we have shared adventures and dilemmas and joys and tragedies…that we have to stop and think just how long have we been friends.  And when we haven’t seen one another for a time, sometimes a long time, we pick right up where we left off when we get together again. I love that you have just the right words at just the right time…and silence, when no words are needed, just presence.

Because of you, I’ve traveled to places I would not have gone alone.  I’ve climbed higher mountains, I’ve walked longer distances, I’ve seen movies and gone to concerts and read books and tried foods I wouldn’t have done without you. 

I’ve thought about questions and ideas from  perspectives other than my own.  Because of you, I’ve said yes to hard things, I’ve stayed in when it would have been easier to get out, because I know you were there with me.

And because of you, I’ll live longer, and better. The advice for healthy living at our age is that social connections are just as important as diet and exercise and yearly check-ups, perhaps more so.  Isn’t that grand?  We not only have fun together, we not only consider all of life’s most important questions together, we’re helping each other live longer and better lives. 

Each night, when I take off my clothes of the day, and slide into a nightshirt or jammies, I feel my shoulders drop, and my jaw relaxes. The day’s tension drains away.  I put on a cuddly robe, grab a good book, and settle in with a cup of tea and a cookie.  It’s a time of ease, and comfort, and sheer bliss.  That’s what time with girlfriends feels like…ease and comfort, no pretenses necessary, just the warmth of shared companionship.  And I feel like the luckiest girl in the world….

Much love,
Marilyn

***
Dear Readers
by Mary Reiman
Dear Readers, 
Many of you have been reading our 5 Women Mayhem blog for five years. Thank you. 
Think of all the words you have read! Your kind comments regarding our posts have kept me 
moving forward, especially in those moments of complete brain fog. 

You have been the reason I continue to try to find just the right words to 
say on any given day.  
And on this day, I quote to you these most heartfelt words 
of Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

‘How do I love thee, let me count the ways…’

***
Like and Follow us on Facebook @5WomenMayhem

Bold talk, truth to power

By JoAnne Young

Women speaking truth to power. In spite of retribution, in spite of the sexist or racist language hurled back at them, and the knowing that they could pay dearly for their words. Speaking even if their words are found offensive or oppositional by others, even by their colleagues. 

 Representatives Liz Cheney, Nancy Pelosi, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez speak their truths on a national stage. Sens. Megan Hunt, Machaela Cavanaugh and Danielle Conrad speak theirs on a state platform in Nebraska. 

 

Add to those the voices or written words of: Christine Blasey-Ford, Cassidy Hutchinson, Heather Cox Richardson, Leola Bullock, Lela Shanks, Megan Rapinoe, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Michelle Obama, Tarana Burke, Malala Yousafzai, Greta Thunberg, Anita Hill, Ida B. Wells, Susan La Flesche Picotte.  

 

This is by no means a comprehensive list. You all probably know many more. 

 

I’ve seen many comments on social media in the past month that include fits of anger and frustration and name calling. I’ve felt that way, too, and can’t say I haven’t resorted to some of that in private. But that’s not what I am talking about when I think of speaking truth to power. It’s the more strong, controlled and thoughtful words that come from a place of reason and courage, many times, compassion.  

 

One of the greatest I have heard this month came from Bishop Mariann Budde, who looked right at President Donald Trump at the post-inauguration church service at Washington’s National Cathedral and said what she needed him to hear about having mercy for undocumented immigrants and for gay, lesbian and transgender children in Democratic, Republican and Independent families, some who fear for their lives. https://www.democracynow.org/2025/1/22/bishop_budde

 

In the face of demands for her deportation and of conservative activists’ call for elected officials to revoke the National Cathedral’s tax-exempt status and turn the building over to a more conservative denomination, she is not sorry. 

 

"I don't feel there's a need to apologize for a request for mercy. I regret that it was something that has caused the kind of response that it has, in the sense that it actually confirmed the very thing that I was speaking of earlier, which is our tendency to jump to outrage and not speak to one another with respect. But no, I won't, I won't apologize for what I said." 

 

Speaking truth to power is bold, stays away from name calling, does not incite violence and is always unapologetic. A symbolic gesture can also be powerful. 

 

Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson wore a judicial collar as she sat with other justices at Trump’s inauguration, reminiscent of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who frequently spoke truth to power in her dissents. Brown Jackson’s collar was made of cowrie shells, prized in African cultures where they signify prosperity and protection. In the United States, they have been used to resist enslavement. She spoke truth to power without words, but with a conduit of ancestral wisdom. 

 

Tess Rafferty wrote in Ms. Magazine: 

 

“As women we carry on – calling out the truth, naming things for what they are, even in spite of the stomach aches and the screams stuck in our throat. Not because it’s easy or because we are always believed. But because it’s the only way forward.”

 

We know by the reactions of those in power that what was said or shown by a kneel or an absence where you are expected to show up, that those words or actions were heard, and got under the skin of the intended recipient. For those who are heard, there can be consequences. Liz Cheney lost her Congressional seat. Malala Yousafzai was shot. Nancy Pelosi’s husband was attacked and injured in their home, the assailant looking for her. 

 

Natalie Maines and the then Dixie Chicks (now The Chicks) lost fans and popularity, had their music banned at multiple radio stations and were threatened. Maines apologized, then three years later rescinded the apology and the group released a new single, “Not Ready to Make Nice.” 

 

The strongest among us carry on. And we learn from so many of them. Here are just a few: 

 

“Trump continues to hurl insults in my direction. I learn how it feels to be on the other side. But I know enough not to react. That’s what he wants me to do. He wants me to be defensive. He wants to know when he’s hurt someone or gotten a rise out of them; he wants to project his hurt onto the source of it. Trump doesn’t care if you dispute him or call him a liar. Only silence bothers him. Being ignored drives him mad.” – Cassidy Hutchinson, former White House aide for Donald Trump

 

“New bills will come to the floor in the coming weeks, including ones I support. I will filibuster them all. Every. Single. One. Why? Because I am not giving extremists any chance to legislate their hate against the trans community.” – State Sen. Machaela Cavanaugh, 2023

 

“They think they can’t do it without the one vote in Omaha. I think you should come here and earn it. Come take the electoral vote from Omaha. If you earn it you can have it, Donald Trump.” – State Sen. Megan Hunt, 2024, on the continued effort to make Nebraska a winner-take-all state.  

 

“Popular speech needs no protection. That’s why our civil rights and our civil liberties have long been protected by constitutional prerogative. Because unpopular speech is the speech that needs protection. Principles and character only matter if we stand by them when it’s most challenging. ... When those principles and values are tested, it says a lot about who we are and what we stand for if we stand by them in the times of great challenge. ... It is wrong to invoke governmental punishment for speech that we find offensive.” – State Sen. Danielle Conrad 

 

“As a strongman becomes more and more destructive, followers’ loyalty only increases. Having begun to treat their perceived enemies badly, they need to believe their victims deserve it. Turning against the leader who inspired such behavior would mean admitting they had been wrong and that they, not their enemies, are evil. This, they cannot do.” – Heather Cox Richardson 

 

“[T]his condition of being treated as children we want to have nothing to do with…the majority of the Omahas are as competent as the same number of white people.” – Susan La Flesche Picotte 

 

I end with this, from Leola Bullock, Lincoln Civil Rights advocate, in reference to black students in 1993, but which could also be said today:

 

“I think young people are saying to us, you're a failure; you haven't changed things for us. They're angry at us. We've marched; we've preached; we've died. We've done everything we could to try to change this country. And yet the selfishness, the greed, and the insecurity of white people still prevails. I'm afraid what will happen in this country if things don't change.”