The Veil

by Penny Costello

What’s happening in Minneapolis is in the part of town where I lived for 15 years. I’m so sad to see what’s going on. I came out there in the heart of a thriving LGBT community. (It was the 80s, and that was the acronym at the time.) 

I marched in Take Back the Night marches through those streets, coordinated Pride festivals, protested in support of Native women who were being murdered. And today I am so saddened to know that, while all of those were truly worthwhile endeavors, things have not changed, and may have gotten worse. More likely I've been too comfortable in the blinders of my privilege.

I saw a meme on Facebook attributing this quote to Will Smith, “Racism is not getting worse. It’s being filmed.”

I recognize those neighborhoods that are in flames as I watch the news coverage. My heart aches for George Floyd as he pleaded for his life, and I imagine the terror and despair he must have felt.

But it's not just in Minneapolis. Swastikas painted on trees in Wilderness Park here in Lincoln, people dying in cities across the country as they protest or speak out. Others using the protests as an opportunity to loot, destroy property, and act out against real and perceived injustices. I’m trying to identify what I can do, and how to be a part of this movement for true reform, without being an armchair slacktavist on Facebook.

I'm glued to news coverage. People in the streets in cities all over the country. Police in riot gear, tear gas canisters exploding, cars and buildings in flames. As my granddaughter watched with me (which is amazing because she hates news and politics) she said this to me, "Holy crap! You mean I'm living through a pandemic, this, AND global warming?"

Yes, my darling. You are. 

All of this is simultaneous with the highs of her graduation from high school and the confluence of good feelings and friendship as I organize an online celebration for a dear friend and mentor who turns 90 today.

I’ve heard it said that time is not really linear at all. That in reality it’s all happening at the same time, in parallel. That’s what this emotional spectrum feels like. Maybe the veil is lifting after all, and we’re moving into a new dimension. Maybe part of that is focusing a magnifying lens on everything.

I don’t know. But I guess we’ll find out.

A friend recently shared a song with me called “Resilient” by Rising Appalachia. It’s a powerful video, and the first verse shines a light on the way forward for me.

I am resilient

I trust the movement

I negate the chaos

Uplift the negative

I’ll show up at the table, again and again and again

I’ll close my mouth and learn to listen

Okay. I’m listening.