Kindness Matters

By Mary Reiman

Subtitle: Random Thoughts As The World Turns

 

I’m guessing many of us thought by now we would be writing our reflections of time spent during the pandemic. Thinking about giving extra special thanks for being together this Thanksgiving and pondering over future travel destinations. Instead, we are buying space heaters for our garages, ordering more things online than we need, and wondering how safe it will be at Christmas to gather together with family. For me, it is wondering how cold I will be when gazing through the nursing home window as the harsh north wind blows across northern Iowa in January.

 

My random thoughts continue to flourish…focused plans of action, not so much!   

 

One good thing is I no longer have to worry about going the wrong way down the aisle at the grocery store. It seems I would often be going the wrong way and then notice “the look” from those who were paying attention. Even with a mask, one sees “the look.” I am thankful the arrows are gone.

 

I am also thankful for audiobooks. I am listening to The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd. “Anger is effortless. Kindness is hard.” Such a fascinating story she weaves together. If you haven’t reserved it from the Lincoln City Libraries, you must!

 

When I was growing up, I would often stay with my grandma on Saturday evenings. I don’t know if she offered to let me stay or if my parents begged because they wanted to go out. But I remember Mom getting dressed up in her high heels and dropping me off in time to watch Mitch Miller and Lawrence Welk with Grandma. Grandma’s house was small, cozy, carpeted, warm and in town. Ours was a big old farmhouse with cold wood floors, especially upstairs. At least that’s how I remember it. Grandma had usually just made oatmeal raisin cookies before I arrived. Heaven on earth. What did we do without reality TV or Dancing with the Stars? We watched the Lennon Sisters! 

If I stayed with Grandma during the week, we watched As the World Turns.  It was her favorite soap opera. CBS at 1:00, Monday-Friday. She was a faithful viewer, giving her opinions on what they should be doing but not being critical, just observing.

 

What I remember most about my grandma was her goodness, her kindness, her generosity. Not just to me, but to everyone. Perhaps the generosity was a result of living through the Great Depression, surviving on so little and appreciating everything they had. Mom often talked about how much love they had in their tiny farmhouse with just two bedrooms and seven family members, and that most of the time they really didn’t realize how poor they were.  She said Grandma would always share what they did have with those who had even less.

When I was growing up, I helped Mom fill boxes with food for the nuns at Thanksgiving and Christmas because she knew they lived on a limited income. Perhaps they believed they had a guardian angel that would provide for them. I believe that angel was June Reiman.

 

It is still fascinating to me that my parents didn’t sit us down and talk about being kind, they just were. There was no yelling. I don’t even remember looks of frustration unless I just wasn’t noticing. They were not demeaning to anyone. They didn't criticize each other or anyone else. They were kind and generous and polite. They had conversations and they listened to each other. Does anyone ever use the word polite anymore? Does anyone even know what it means?

 

So when I watch the news, my heart is filled with joy at the segments showing the dedication of so many, especially during this great upheaval. I appreciate the Facebook posts showing gentle souls caring about others, working together for the common good. I appreciate journalists reporting kindness and generosity in this tumultuous world. I believe these are our most important values in spite of the rhetoric of the day. I will be happy when the political ads are over. I am ready for a more gentle world. I need a more gentle world.

 

And as the world turns and random thoughts continue to rumble through my head, I still choose to believe kindness matters.