To Our Dear Readers

 “The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” - Havelock Ellis

 

 

The end of 2020 is at hand, and most of us are way beyond ready to welcome 2021, hoping that it will be a much better year, however it is that we define “better.”  The first distribution of
the vaccine to protect against Covid has begun.  At this point, more than two million Americans have been vaccinated, and it is hoped that the vaccine will be available to the general public by late spring or early summer.  It seems possible that life might then resume in some way that seems like “normal,” or “the way it used to be.” 

It’s likely, though, that “the way it used to be” will not be what happens.  We have lived a different life for nearly ten months, and we have developed new behaviors, new practices, new perspectives.  As we Five Women think about the new year, we think about what from 2020 we will hold on to, and what we will release. 

Good-bye Swear Jar, by Mary Kay Roth

My deepest regret is that I did not have the foresight to start a swear jar on Dec. 31, 2019.  I could be a wealthy woman today.  And though there are understandable reasons for profanity this year, I would like to let go of those vicious words – and the underlying rage fueling them.  

Despite that anger, however, I’m startled at how much I want to hang onto from 2020.

I will hold dear the wisdom of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the songs of John Prine – salvation of front-yard coffee and family Zooms – bonds of a women’s sewing circle creating needed nurse gowns – healing power of sunrise hikes. 

No doubt, this last year was a crapstorm. But in the yin and yang of life, 2020 also imparted unexpected enlightenment: Yes, even a confirmed introvert can get lonely, yet find solace in exploring interior landscapes and less-traveled backroads … but only if she has a good dog beside her, and the open hearts of family and friends.   

I’m safeguarding costly lessons that emerged from the pain. 

- A brutal pandemic honoring true heroism and true science.

 - A disgraced president who exposed the fragility yet hardiness of democracy.  

-  George Floyd and others who helped shine light on our dark, ongoing inequities. 

I’m saving my “I love Dr. Fauci” t-shirt, tie-dye face mask, vanilla cinnamon sanitizer – while cherishing precious moments:

- After months of isolation, hugging Scout, Everlyn, Ace.

- A circle of friends howling for joy as the election was called for Joe Biden.

- My son calling every Sunday – my daughter texting she was vaccinated.

We are a resilient species – and I want to hold onto that. We lost way too many people this year, yet it appears we will survive – flying iguanas, murderous hornets, a global pandemic.

Damn, I’m ready for 2021.  (Oops.)

Finding the balance of holding on and letting go… by Mary Reiman

Balance (noun): stability, equilibrium, steadiness, footing

Balance (verb): level, position, weigh, compare, evaluate, consider

Letting go of isolation of both body and spirit.

Letting go of that anxious, uneasy, pull the covers over my head and wanting to stay in bed all day kind of feeling.

Letting go of procrastinating. Actually, it is a goal every year, but is simply crossed off the list and added to the next year’s resolutions.

Letting go of trepidation or learning how to convert it to gain strength.

Holding on to thankfulness for the awe-inspiring goodness and kindness in people that pours forth in times of crisis.

Holding on to mindfulness. Gaining a better awareness of all the elements that inform my world, focusing on listening, learning, taking action.

Holding on to the belief in the importance of a moral compass in everyone, yes everyone.Holding on to the friends who have sustained, encouraged and inspired me. Holding onto them now more than ever.

Holding on to faith. Holding on to hope. Holding on to love.

…by continually looking beyond any walls or barriers that might seem to exist…finding the balance.

A Fine Mingling, by Marilyn Moore

I will hold on to walks in the neighborhood.  I may return to the gym for strength training and for classes, but I will walk the neighborhood – in all directions, in all weather.  I am physically connected to this space, and I’m holding on to that. 

I will hold on to cooking and baking and eating at home.  We have now had meals at home 293 days in a row, and the vast majority are meals that I, or we, have cooked.  That is a night-and-day change from the way we use to live, which was dinner out nearly every evening.  We are eating healthier meals, I’m remembering what fun it is to find new recipes and new ingredients, and I’m holding on to that.

I have learned to be intentional about staying in touch with friends and family, knowing that the normal course of just seeing people at shared events doesn’t happen.  Phone calls, emails, texts, Zoom calls, driveway and lawn gatherings, keeping up with the everyday-ness of their lives – I’m holding on to that. 

Letting go…I have spent an inordinate amount of time this past year watching cable news
programming.  The combination of the political scene of 2020, the racial and social unrest, and the explosion of the coronavirus has filled the news shows 24/7.  And I’ve watched a lot of it, wanting to be an informed citizen.  What that much news time on screen does to me, however, is make me anxious, and discouraged, and irritated.  I think I can be “informed” in an hour or two a day, beginning with the daily newspapers….the rest, I’ll let it go. 

 

 Bananas and pickles, or divine wrath? by JoAnne Young

 

If there’s anything I’ve learned in this problem child of a year, it’s how to be undecided about change.

 

Hang on to what we had before, or gladly give it away? Keep what’s new, or let it disappear when things alter, mutate, fluctuate. Again. And again.

 

No mercy for what change brings? Or a full-out embrace of it all?

 

I could say I developed my indecision in the halls of the pandemic, but that wouldn’t be true. I learned it young as my family moved every year or two when some or other military orders came floating down from on high, telling my dad to pack up his family and move across the country. Change states, change houses, change schools, change climates, change friends.

 

Letting go became oddly beautiful, holding on frightful.

 

I can’t look back on 2020 and say, “Hey, I think I’ll hold on to these new homemade sandwich combos I’ve come to love: banana and pickle, peanut butter and tomato.” They’ll be gone by March.  

I can’t say I’ll let go of this divine wrath I feel about people who won’t follow either suggested or mandated medical directives to keep others safe from a virus that has killed more than 1,600 Nebraskans and counting. It’ll be there until, like angry birds, it disintegrates. 

So goodbye to 2020’s darkened state. Hello to 2021’s pristine slate … where everything old can be new again. 

In a Word, by Penny Costello

Any of us who are Facebook users have seen these things a thousand times. Those ‘copy and paste this on your wall to show us you care’ kinds of things. I hate them.

When I see these cyber chain letters, I try to figure out who reaps the benefit of me copying and pasting that to my wall. Does Mark Zuckerberg profit in some way? Am I somehow revealing my consumer tastes to advertisers? I’m sure the answer lies in the science behind Clickbait. But generally, I just keep my thoughts to myself and choose not to participate.

Then a friend posted this: “Leave a positive word I can carry for 2021 that starts with the first letter of your name. It can only be one word. Then copy this to your wall so I can leave a word for you.”

Well, the first letter of my name is also the first letter of her dog’s name. And he’s a great dog. And I’m a crazy dog lady, to which anyone who knows me can attest.

So, I bit. I typed “Pip!” (his name) in the comments. Then I did what I never do. I copied and pasted it on my wall. Then the words came flowing into the comments.

Abundance. Simplify. Encourage. Determined. Nimble. Joy. Magnificent. Meditation. Tenderness. Mindful. Spaciousness. Hope. Mirthful. Outgoing. Resilience. Merriment. Jubilant. Newfound. Jolly. Merciful. Kindness. Soulful. Content. Sincere. Bright. Love. Magnanimous. Magical.

Reading these words lifted me in ways I did not expect. I’m grateful to friends and acquaintances who channel positive energy into everything they do. I gained new appreciation for the power of a single word to transmute and transform. And I learned to push past preconceptions and be open to experiences that may, on the surface, seem contrived.

At the heart of it all, I believe, is presence. And what do you know? Presence starts with a “P”. I am well equipped for whatever 2021 has to offer.

 

To our Dear Readers, Happy New Year! Thank you for following our tales and adventures. May you find a little less mayhem in 2021.