The Pursuit of Independence

by Mary Reiman

I've been thinking about writing this for about a month. Well, honestly, since my last post when I realized this would be the 4th of July weekend. At that time, I was thinking about the topic of independence. In the meantime, more mayhem. Many of you shared posts and messages about our independence, or lack of it, or what it means today as opposed to what it meant a month ago...or in 1776.

Independence Day is a national holiday marked by patriotic displays...Many politicians make it a point on this day to appear at a public event to praise the nation's heritage, laws, history, society, and people. (Wikipedia)

Independence Day, also called Fourth of July or July 4th, the annual celebration of nationhood. During the early years of the republic, Independence Day was commemorated with parades, oratory, and toasting in ceremonies that celebrated the existence of the new nation...It was the greatest secular holiday in the country. Celebrating the day became common only after the War of 1812. Thereafter, civic-minded groups worked to link the ideals of democracy and citizenship to the patriotic spirit of the day. (Britannica. Does anyone remember Britannica? Does anyone remember encyclopedias?)

We put out our flags for different reasons. Just as we define Independence Day differently. Some have traditional family gatherings in a park, by the pool or at a lake. Some love sparklers and fireworks. Some prefer to quietly reflect on our country's history. Some simply want a reason for a party.

As I am thinking of Independence Day this year, I cannot get past the word independence. What does independence really mean? The right to do what we feel is best for ourselves? 

The dictionary definition of independence is: freedom from the control or influence of others. Their example is: When kids grow up and move out and start making their own decisions. 

Independence and freedom. What does freedom mean? Freedom: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. Ultimately it is about our freedoms. Freedoms we take/took for granted?

I do mourn losses of independence this week. And losses of freedom. Hard fought freedom after much activism in the 60s and 70s. The days of protests, rallies, inspiring speakers, posters, t-shirts, much reading and long discussions about how to gain more rights for women. This week reminded us of those days, that history, the strength gained from those rallies and those conversations. 

Our children, especially daughters, granddaughters, nieces and great nieces don't have the same history. Maybe we've not talked enough with them about our fight for women's rights. Different generations. They have not had to think about what it was like before. I didn't think they needed to hear my stories. I was wrong. History can come back to haunt us. And for those who feel they are immune to the Supreme Court decisions this week. Are you sure? 

Independence may change to "in dependence." Dependence: the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else. Read that again. The state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else. That's not a secure, safe, freedom-filled feeling on this holiday. 

As I attempt to channel the voices of RBG and Maya Angelou and so many others who have gone before us, I am reminded of the urgent need to not give up. Our advocacy is needed now just as it was decades ago. 

So much was written last week. So many editorials, opinions, observations. They help me know I am not alone in my sadness, anger, frustration and fear. The words of Maya Angelou: "Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women."  The reminder to NEVER GIVE UP.

So in the midst of this mayhem, even with a tremendous sense of unease, I wish you and your loved ones the opportunity to live your own best lives, with independence, on this 4th of July.