Resolutions: Fragmented or Calm?

by Mary Reiman

This week there's been something in the news every day about New Year's resolutions. Every new year seems to bring recommendations on how to keep those resolutions, how to make the current year the best year ever.

It started January 1st, with John Pavlovitz. Here’s to a New Year of Unpretending. “...So many of us fritter away our days wrongly believing we need to edit ourselves.”  Hmmmm....

In the Lincoln Journal Star on January 1st, were the ideas from Dr. Gabriel Berendes, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, Rock your resolution: How to follow through on your goals for the new year. It described SMART goals as a way to focus on what you want to accomplish:

• S - Specific 
• M- Measurable
• A - Achievable
• R - Relevant
• T - Time-Framed

Sound familiar to any of you?

On January 3rd, Dr. Barton Goldsmith’s 'Emotional Fitness' column in the Journal Star, How you can feel better in the new year. He says, “...Find that feeling of New Year’s hope, and embrace it.” 

Hope. I might only be able to do that if I never read the newspaper or listen to the news. 

The January 4th Journal Star’s 'On Nutrition' column by Barbara Intermill was New year a chance to make better choices. She suggests if we want to make better choices, "Repeat your goal out loud to yourself every day." and "Take it a day at a time." and "...always be kind to yourself."

And the January 5th Journal Star editorial board offered “some hopes, dreams, and things to look for” from our Nebraska Legislature. “It shouldn’t be necessary to urge senators to work ‘across the aisle’ to address these issues as there shouldn’t be an aisle to cross in the nonpartisan body.” 

They are hopeful too! 

So, now it is January 7th, and the only word that seems appropriate for this blog is fragmented. That’s not necessarily the way I want to begin this year.  I want my word of the year to be hope or kindness. 

But wow. The world news is frustrating. This country is definitely fractured. And my head and heart still feel fragmented. Not a good way to start if I want to focus on hope.  

Fragmented, fractured and frustrated, all at the same time. Especially by the actions of many of our national leaders in the last five days. I use the word ‘leaders’ loosely. Frustrated by their current lack of leadership, lack of ability to come together, to find a way to best serve their constituents. Five days, 15 rounds of voting. No action in the House of Representatives until a Speaker of the House was chosen after midnight Friday night, with all the concessions Kevin McCarthy could possibly make to get the votes he needed. He then went to the podium to announce "...my responsibility, our responsibility, is to our country."  Will he think about all of us when bills are brought forward? Or will he spend more time worrying about whether or not any of his colleagues will call a vote to remove him from his role as speaker?  Will we ever know all of the concessions made last night? 

I am also bewildered by the behavior of our legislators, knowing there was so much more behind the scenes, and wanting to understand everyone’s real agenda. Once again we ask ourselves, how did we possibly get to this point in our national government? 

And how did we get to the point where the headline story today was a 1st grade student shooting his teacher? How do we balance that with many of our own state legislators' plans to pass a bill to allow concealed carry of a handgun without a permit? I choose to believe there is no one who would vote to allow a child to carry a gun. But that handgun was somehow available for that child to pick up and take to school yesterday. 

This year there will definitely have to be more than one word of the year. There might need to be more than one word for every month if you look at the first week of January. 

But isn’t that what we love about words! There are so many to pick from at any given moment.

So let’s go back to what I had originally planned for this month. I was planning to write something light, focus on my resolutions for 2023. I was going to title this blog “I’ll be that person.”

I'll be that person who...

- is no longer a procrastinator. Never again using the phrase, “I’ll take care of that later.”

- writes a thank you note to someone every day because every day I know someone to be grateful for as I travel through this life's journey.

- picks up the piece of paper once and files it away so I don’t have piles of paper in every room, not remembering where anything really is located.

- reads an email and then does something with it. Perhaps put it in a folder or simply delete it. Maybe then I won't have 4,241 messages in the inbox.  How did that happen???

- posts the titles of every book I read because the last one is always the “best book I have ever read.”

- takes a photo and has a purpose for it. Then I will use that photo, delete it and no longer have over 3,000 photos on my phone. I know, I know....at least I admit it! Isn’t that the first step?

These are lofty goals for me in this fragmented year. Those who know me may want to remind me, or at least check in, and ask if I am accomplishing any of these goals. As with my workout plan, I do much better when I have someone pushing me to keep going! 

What are your New Year's Resolutions? 

My wish for all of us is that our world becomes calmer.  Maybe calm should be my word of the year.  The definition of calm: the absence of violent or confrontational activity within a place or group. Synonyms are: tranquil, serene, peaceful.  

Yes, calm will be my word for this year. And peace and tranquility are my wishes for each and every one of you this year. 

Happy New Year!

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”                                                                                                  Neil Gaiman

Follow us on Facebook @5 Women Mayhem