Taking a Pause....Seeking a Presence

By Marilyn Moore

This is not the blog I intended to write.  I was going to write about Lucky, the book from which Sen. Halloran quoted on the floor of the legislature, the tirade that put Nebraska in the national news in the most unflattering of ways.  That was the blog I was going to write…and I will.  Soon.  Just not today.

These days, marked by the life force of spring, with trees and grass and daffodils coming alive again, buffeted as they are by March wind and cold and snow, these days, the time of celebration of Holy Week by Christians, Passover by Jews, and Ramadan by Muslims, these days that are sacred, and reflective, and hopeful, are days that I simply cannot cast into the collective air that we breathe the anger and despair and frustration of the blog I was going to write.  

This day….I’m taking a pause, sensing a presence…that will soothe and smooth rough edges of my heart, mind, and soul…

In the quiet curve of evening, in the singing of the days,

In the silky void of darkness, you are there.

In the lapses of the my breathing, in the space between my ways,

In the crater carved by sadness, you are there.

You are there, you are there.

                                                   

In the rests between the phrases, in the cracks between the stars,

In the gaps between the meaning, you are there.

 In the melting down of endings, in the cooling of the sun,

 In the solstice of the winter, you are there.

 You are there, you are there.

In the mystery of the hungers, in the silence of my rooms, 

In the cloud of my unknowing, you are there.

In the empty cave of grieving, in the desert of my dreams, 

In the tunnel of my sorrow, you are there.

You are there, you are there.

The lines above are by the author Julie Howard.  They are not the “sunshine and roses” pause; they acknowledge the spaces and moments in our lives, and the emptiness and loss that’s there, too.  She seeks assurance, as do I, as do all who are lonely, or grieving, or uncertain, or just overwhelmed by all of life right now.  A pause, seeking a presence.

Many names can be given to that presence.  It may be the name that is used by people of faith, the name Yahweh, or God, or Allah.  It may be Creator, or Holy One, or Mystery of Mysteries.  It may be the name of someone much loved, or the memory of that someone.  It may be the wind, or the sun, or the stars.  It may be no name…a presence that is sought, sensed, felt, by which we are comforted, held, assured.  

For this day, a pause.  The blog I intended to write will hold for another day (not long, watch for it in a few days).  And I will nestle into the embrace and wise spirit of the presence.  

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