If we make it through December ...

By JoAnne Young 

I knew December was coming. I keep it in the corner of my mind all through the year. It’s there beginning in January. It looms in the middle of summer, the beginning of fall. December unsettles me, even with its disguises of bells and ribbons, twinkling lights, angels, cookies and picturesque snow showers. 

 

It fools us with its jolly and sparkle, with the wreaths and evergreens and red splashes of poinsettias, all the while harboring an unwillingness to give up nights of howling north winds, morning chills of single digits, and the longest, darkest hours of the year. The skies turn gray and the earth goes fallow, to rest for the several months until April keeps its promise with slowly awakening color, dotting  our lives with hyacinths, crocuses and bleeding hearts. 

 

In December, we are so busy decorating, shopping, wrapping, along with working at our jobs and everyday chores, that we don’t have time to think about slowing down and finding peace as the earth below us and nature around us does. 

 

The women we know and love are in that December-busy now. If we’re being honest, the decorations and gifts under the tree, the wrappings, candles and sweet treats are the joys that happen because mothers and grandmothers, aunts and sisters make it so. We add that to our year-round responsibilities that don’t go away in December. 

 

I am thinking, especially right now, of the friends and loved ones who must consider their holiday spirit among health concerns and grieving of loved ones who have left them, very recently, or in past months or years. Walking invisibly with us through the holidays are our mothers and fathers, brothers, sisters, children and beloved friends with whom we’d love to share this season.

 

The memories of past Christmases and Hanukkahs and Kwanzaas pulsate in December. We buried our mother a couple of decades ago in mid-December, just five weeks after our dad had died suddenly. Then my only sister died three years ago on a March afternoon. Some of you now will be gathering to celebrate with a newly empty chair at the table. 

 

I could be writing about the joys of December and holidays and families gathering around beautifully set tables and the excitement of children opening gifts, but I know two of my neighbors are missing daughters and my friend across town is wondering what she can scrape together for a holiday meal. 

 

How I wish we could dig a moat around December to keep out sadness, disappointment, worries and stress. We can’t. Those things have a way of walking on water, breaching our castles. Beloved teams lose heartbreaking matches. Illnesses cross our immune barriers. Dear hearts stop beating. 

 

We will make it through December. We will work it out or wait it out with courage. We will do it with attentive and thoughtful friends, with appreciation of those loved ones who travel across the state or country to be with us, or those who we will travel miles to see. 

 

Then, we will start to think about the New Year and the hope it brings, even with its uncertainties. I have great expectations for a return to normalcy in early 2025 from being off my feet for two months after a missed step in September and then spending a month practicing the get-up-and-walk-woman incantations, with a lot of help from physical therapists. 

 

I look forward to 2025, to hope mingled with craziness and the tiptoeing of light back to the spring equinox and the longest day of summer solstice. In the meantime, I will grow comfortable with my Eddie Bauer parka and sherpa-lined stocking caps. I will look forward to early morning walks in the cold that fire up my metabolism and boost my mental health. 

 

Until then, God bless you December, with all your faults. 

 

I will leave you with this message by Louise Erdrich, from The Painted Drum. (I love writers.) 

 

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apple falling all around in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”  

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